Bringing the Crazy…The Series

Bringing the Crazy Part III: The Muslim Brotherhood Edition

What?! Me, Crazy?!

When we last left Minnesota Congresswoman, and Tea Party favorite Michelle Bachmann, she was bowing out from the GOP Presidential Race, much to the chagrin of political columnists, late night comedians, and smart asses like me who were looking forward to seeing what a presidential debate between Bachmann and President Barack Obama would look like.

But while she is out of the Presidential Race, Rep. Bachmann is never far from the spotlight. She’s one of those folks that from whom the combination of an open mic, and a vivid imagination spring the kind of results that not even the best novelists or screenwriters could make up.

Her latest bit of “We’re gonna find the anti-Americans and smoke ’em out of their holes” nonsense involves Huma Abedin, an aide to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and a fellow member of the Minnesota delegation, Congressman Keith Ellison.

Now why is she singling out Abedin, the wife of former Congressman Anthony Weiner of New York and Ellison?

Because they’re both Muslims.

And in Bachmann Land, a place that I imagine is a bit like the Eagles’ “Hotel California” (You can check out anytime you like, but you may never leave…) that makes them members of the Muslim Brotherhood that are helping this Egyptian political party bring down America.

No, you’re not reading that wrong. A current member of Congress is accusing a fellow sitting member of Congress and the wife of a former member of Congress of being part of a group that she says is looking to bring down America.

She made the accusation against Abedin in a letter that she sent to the Inspectors General of the Departments of Homeland Security, State and Justice that asked that they look into possible ‘tentacles’  of anti-American activity.

(Man, do I wish that Rep. Weiner was still in Congress! His floor speeches used to be one of my favorite things about C-Span. I can only imagine what he would have said about this…)

The accusation against Rep. Ellison came this morning in a story published in The Star-Tribune about Rep. Bachmann’s appearance on Glenn Beck’s program Thursday night. “He has a long record of being associated with [the Council on American-Islamic Relations] and with the Muslim Brotherhood,” she said to Beck.

(By the way, does anyone watch Glenn Beck’s new program? When you’re so off the wall that you get kicked off of Fox News, what does that say about you?!)

In any case, the accusations have caused a bit of an uproar and unlike most things in the current Congress, it’s bipartisan.

The Sen. John McCain that would have given President Obama a run for his money four years ago showed up on the Senate Floor to denounce the accusations, calling them “sinister”. Speaker of the House John Boehner, seeing yet another one of the ways that the Devil takes his payment up front and in pounds not ounces when you make a deal with him, said “Accusations like this being thrown around are pretty dangerous”…and not just to my position as Speaker of the House…

(Actually, that last part was mine…)

And just about everyone compared Bachmann’s charges to someone that no Republican likes to be connected to: Joseph McCarthy.

For those of you who don’t remember the whole Red Scare thing (and to my former students, no, I wasn’t there and I’m not that old…smart asses…) Communism was the boogey man in question. Because the Soviet Union had become this big thing post World War II, Rep. McCarthy thought that Communists had infiltrated the United States and were trying to bring America down from within.

As a result, he held a series of hearings that led to mothers testifying against sons, husbands against wives, artists being “blacklisted” and unable to find work, and a climate of fear that so seriously abridged freedom of speech that it got ridiculous.

Fortunately, JOURNALISM existed back then. Folks like Edward R. Murrow dug into McCarthy’s charges and exposed them as false, which is what journalists are supposed to do. Once that happened, McCarthy and his series of hearings came to an end…and McCarthy himself would up dying drunk and friendless.

But unfortunately, it appears that no one has learned from this exercise. Earlier this year, Rep. Allen West, a man that Kid from Kid and Play will be suing any day now to get his hairdo back, accused members of Congress of being Communists.

However, to outdo Bachmann in the Congressional Sweepstakes of Crazy, you’ve gotta work real hard and get up real early…She always brings it, and it’s usually a level of nuts that no one could make up.

Now are there folks in the so-called Muslim World (and I say so-called because I went to a panel discussion on Islam and the Media earlier this week that kind of taught me that this is how I should refer to it) that might want to knock America down a peg or two? Yep. While no one wants to admit it, we haven’t always been kind to folks in that part of the world.

But is everyone who practices the faith of Islam here in America looking to do the country in? Nope. Most Muslims are just trying to live their lives, raise their kids, and follow their faith without people giving them a hard time.

The least that a member of Congress, the body charged with creating the laws that we all live by in this country, could do is not make that harder.

But when it comes to Rep. Michele Bachmann, I think that Mark Twain said it best…

“‘Tis better to be silent and be perceived a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt…”


Bringing the Crazy, Part II: The Really?! Edition

This woman, who is also the current front-runner for the Republican Presidential Nomination (much to the chagrin of most Republicans) believes that the settlement finally being given to Black Farmers for the discrimination they suffered at the hands of the USDA amounts to fraud and should be given to flood victims in Mississippi.

This man believes that anyone who supports President Barack Obama is “threat to the gene pool” and has also written a threatening letter to a fellow congressperson.

And this man seems to have an unnatural obsession with Muslims. He believes that anyone who wants to build a mosque is not only espousing Sharia Law (what is it with Republicans and Sharia law?) but is trying to negate the separation of Church and State. Thus, in one of those moves that sends my friend the First Amendment straight to the bar, he calls for folks to have the right to block the building of mosques in their neighborhoods. Granted, no other religion has to go through stuff like this, but like I said, homeboy has an unnatural obsession with Muslims.

So without further ado, I now present “Bringing the Crazy, Part II: The Really?! Edition”.

We’ll start with a dude so Islamophobic that he makes Rick Santorum look tolerant, Herman Cain. Cain, who raised a couple of million dollars this election cycle isn’t bringing much heat in Republican Presidential Nomination polls, but he’s saying all the stuff that Tea Party-ers (and other ignorant folks) seem to want to hear.

Over the weekend in an interview with Fox News’ Chris “My father is probably so disappointed” Wallace, Cain said all the usual Tea Party stuff like ‘We don’t need to raise the debt ceiling!” and “We don’t need for rich folks to pay their fair share (or any) taxes.” But since his repertoire includes such bon mots as “I know that all Muslims are terrorists and I’m not comfortable with them being in my cabinet,” “Muslims believe in Sharia Law”, and other stuff that would indicate that while he doesn’t really know any Muslims, he has no problem saying really stupid shit about them, I wasn’t surprised to hear him say that the government should be able to ban mosques from being built.

This coming from a dude who says that we need to read the Constitution. Funny, but if you read the Constitution, it says that you can’t ban anyone from building a religious institution anywhere they want to.

And you want to be president? Really?

But while Cain is offensive to those of us who understand the First Amendment, he’s not as head-scratching as Allen West.

For those of you who don’t know who West is, and really, unless you’re a political wonk like me you don’t know, he’s a Congressman from Florida who was swept into office during the 2010 Contract on America wave. He’s, and this should be no surprise to you, another Tea Party favorite who should really be kept away from live microphones whenever possible.

Why? Because occasionally stuff that comes from guys who don’t realize that not even Kid of Kid and Play is wearing the high-top fade anymore comes out of his mouth. As part of a blog posting regarding the economy, he blends his opinion on tax policy (namely that he’s a believer in Trickle-Down Economics) with some fallacies about President Obama’s tax policies and ends on the following note:

“I must confess, when I see anyone with an Obama 2012 bumper sticker, I recognize them as a threat to the gene pool.”

Now I’m not one of those people who believe that if you’re black you have to support President Obama. Everyone’s entitled to their own way of thinking and with supporting whom they wish politically. It’s a free country and it’s a beautiful thing to have the choice of voting between at least two black men for the nation’s highest office.

But if I don’t think the same way you do I’m a threat to the gene pool? Really?

As if that wasn’t enough, West took exception to a speech that fellow Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (who is also chair of the Democratic National Committee) made regarding his support for a House budget proposal that probably won’t make it through the Senate and would probably be vetoed if it ever made its way to President Obama’s desk.

Wasserman Schultz said that she couldn’t believe that a Congressman from South Florida, where I’m guessing every doctor accepts Medicaid and Medicare, would support a plan that cuts these programs in favor of cutting taxes to folks who can afford to buy mansions on South Beach and ride around in private jets.

(She didn’t say the South Beach and private jets part. That was me.)

Now that’s not news really. It would be news if West didn’t take exception to what Wasserman Schultz said considering the fact that she’s a Democrat and he’s a Republican. But despite the fact that she didn’t mention him by name, West decided to take it personally…

“Let me make myself perfectly clear, you want a personal fight, I am happy to oblige. You are the most vile, unprofessional ,and despicable member of the US House of Representatives. If you have something to say to me, stop being a coward and say it to my face, otherwise, shut the heck up. Focus on your own congressional district!,” West wrote. “Understand that I shall defend myself forthright against your heinous characterless behavior,” West continued. “You have proven repeatedly that you are not a Lady, therefore, shall not be afforded due respect from me!”

Just because I’m curious to know, I wonder in what ways the Congresswoman has proven to West, a former Military Man, that she is not a lady. Did she let her skirt ride up in public? Did she drink him under the table? Or, does her position as head of the DNC, and the gene pool tarnishing connected to it in West’s mind, cause him consternation?

But the winner and still champ in the Presidential Olympics of Crazy is, my favorite reason to stay away from the water in Minnesota, Michelle Bachmann.

That’s because she wants to deny Black Farmers something they should have gotten when they asked for it the first time: money to maintain their farms.

According to LaBachmann, who is currently at the top or near the top in the GOP Presidential Polls, giving these farmers the money that they won in the lawsuit filed in the Pigford case (a case that was led by a farmer from North Carolina, resolved in favor of the plaintiffs in 1999, and held up until President Obama said ‘give these dudes their $1.2 billion and stop fooling around’) amounts to…

Well, I’ll just let her say it…

“When money is diverted to inefficient projects, like the Pigford project, where there seems to be proof-positive of fraud, we can’t afford $2 billion in potentially fraudulent claims when that money can be used to benefit the people along the Mississippi River and the Missouri River.”

Now I’ll admit that this doesn’t top LaBachmann’s assertion that Black kids were better off during slavery, but i’m wondering where she gets this crap. I mean, you’re running for president. If this is your idea of courting the Black Vote, I would have to say it’s failing miserably. It’s also showing that you either (a) slept through or (b) were daydreaming about the day that you’d meet a chubby man in an industrial strength closet and marry him (oops! Did I say that?!) during history class.

‘Cause you sure didn’t pay attention!

I wonder how many Republicans are going to be asking themselves come November, “How did we get here?” when it comes to all three of these folks.

Well I can answer that question for you.

In 2010, you all made a deal with the Devil to get the House of Representatives. You asked him to get your power back and you didn’t care how, or with whom, he did it.

But here’s the thing about making a deal with the Devil. You don’t know who he’s going to use to fulfill your need and you don’t know what the payment plan is going to look like in the end.

Folks like Cain, West and Bachmann are the kind of folks he chose to use to get the Republican Brand back on top. The good news is, it worked. The bad news is, these folks are as crazy as Junebugs and have all but assured that you’re going to not only lose the House again, but that while the President is still gonna be a Black Guy, he’s not gonna be one of yours.

In other words, the Devil has taken his money off of the top…and has left you with lint in your pockets…