Me, my horsey, and a quart of beer…


Since rolling into Washington with a mandate worthy of Gil Scott-Heron’s derision (Get on the Google and type in “B-Movie” if that statement confuses you), the Tea Party folks (or as we like to call them here at the M(P)S, the folks who actually run the modern Republican Party), have been regaling us with all of their talk of the Constitution and how we should practice strict adherence to it.

Only problem is, it kind of helps if you know what the document says yourself before you try and teach it to other people. At least two high school students have challenged future Republican Presidential Candidate Michelle Bachmann to Constitutional debates because of some of the stuff that’s come out of her mouth…like that the Founding Fathers tried to end slavery and that the government should be able to regulate all of the press…except Fox News because she likes them!…(thank you Mother Jones!)

But by far, the lead Dumb Brunette of the Tea Party was, and still is, former Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin. From the moment that John McCain felt the burning need to bring her on the scene to the (unintentionally) side-splitting interview that she did with Katie Couric on the campaign trail, Palin proves every day that it is possible to have just enough knowledge to be dangerous…

Lately, she’s been on a tour of National Parks and historic sites. She stopped by Independence Hall here in Philly recently and talked with folks as part of her “not really campaigning for president, but I’m gonna announce any day” tour. She’s brought her family along and the press has been following her like a pack of wild hounds, something that inspired the following from my friend and Atlanta Post columnist Charing Ball…

“If Sarah Palin were a sexually transmitted disease, she would be herpes. Not that I think she is a nasty, scabby wart that comes with a reoccurring itch, but just like the STD, just when you think Palin is gone, here she comes again to seriously mess up your day.”

(That is the bestest lede for a story I’ve seen all year, by the way!)

As part of the Palin Does America tour, she went to Boston…and felt the need to tell us the story of Paul Revere and his Midnight Ride. Rather than tell you about it, here’s the video…

There are days where I really wish that I could make this stuff up. But I can’t. I’m not that good.

But based on this, can we, the mainstream (or lamestream in the words of Palin the Intellectual Giant) media now and forever ignore this woman?! Please?!

As part of her tour across America, Palin had dinner with Alderman Davis, oops, I mean Donald Trump.

That these two knuckleheads broke bread says a lot.

One, it says that the Republican Party is, officially, no longer capable of controlling its crazies or encouraging its best and brightest to take center stage. When your presidential candidates (or candidate wannabees) include folks like Trump, Palin, Rick Santorum, Herman Cain (whom the Tea Party has trotted out to show that it isn’t racist) and the like, you’re not bargaining from a position of strength.

And secondly, it also says that the Mainstream Media is in more trouble than I originally thought. The fact that there’s a busload of reporters following someone who so obviously didn’t pay attention in elementary American History is telling. Palin is pretty…pretty vacant…but in a day and age where media organizations are cutting out international bureaus to save money, is following this dimwit really the best capital investment?

I think not.

But as long as Palin, Michelle Bachmann, and the other Tea Party Dumb Brunettes are out there, folks who should be focusing on stuff like the Middle East, the economy, or just about anything else of substance will be forced by the media to focus on their shenanigans instead.

Think about this the next time that you see a survey that shows that our kids are slowly becoming as dumb as a box of rocks…

I leave you with a group who is probably better versed in American History than Sarah Palin ever will be…the Beastie Boys…

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