Revering the Alaskan…


ABC’s Charlie Gibson, one of the two jokers who took two hours of my life from me in April in the name of a presidential debate that focused more on flag pins and preachers than it did on issues, has the honor of being the first non-Fox News media person to interview GOP Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

But after listening to NPR’s “Morning Edition” this morning, I don’t think that I’ll be the next reporter to sit down with La Palin.

Why? Because I only show reverence to one person in this world and she’s about 5’1″, lives in New Jersey, and answers to “Mom”.

According to the report I heard on “Morning Edition”, John McCain’s campaign manager, Rick Davis, said that the reason why Palin wasn’t being made available to the press was because the campaign believed she wouldn’t be treated with “respect and reverence.”

Now, respect you’ll get from me. I respect all of my sources, even the ones that I feel like smacking around. I’ll ask you questions based on my research, use the proper addresses and make sure that I quote you directly and correctly.

But reverence? For reverence, you had to give birth to me. Since the only person who qualifies for that is 5’1″, lives in New Jersey, and looks nothing like Sarah Palin, Madame Governor is kind of out of luck.

Since reverence is something I’ve never been asked for from a source, I don’t know how to react to this. And what does reverence mean in this case? Does it mean that I have to have my questions come through one of your handlers before I ask them? Do I have to curtsy before I enter the room to talk to you?

Besides, I’m having a hard time seeing why you deserve my reverence, Ms. Palin.

First of all, you’re far too cozy with the National Rifle Association. Since I live in a city where guns have killed far too many folks, and the only person I do revere, my mom, knows better than that, you’ve lost me right there.

Secondly, your policy papers indicate a trend toward abuse of power and wanting to give the government far too much control over my reproductive functions. I believe that if you don’t want to have an abortion (or marry a gay person), don’t. But don’t make that decision for the rest of us. It’s presumptious.

And thirdly, it’s really hard for me to revere someone who calls themselves “a pit bull in lipstick” yet is ready to pull the “frail female flower” card when it comes to facing me and my fellow travelers in the Fourth Estate. You’re running for one of the top two elected offices in the United States, Ms. Palin. If you want to be seen as a true pit bull, might I suggest that you grow a set?!

So, as much as I would love to interview the governor of Alaska, it’s an interview I probably won’t get.

But you know what i’d like to see? I’d like to see Rick Davis come at Oprah Winfrey with the whole reverance thing when it comes to her being on her show. That would be worth the ticket to Chicago.

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