Why Barack Obama is Better Than Me

I know that some of you are going to look at the title of this post and get entirely the wrong idea.

Some of you are going to think that I’m calling the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee arrogant and are going to take me to the woodshed. Others of you are going to think that finally, she agrees with me that he’s arrogant.

But when I say that this post is about how Barack Obama is better than me, it’s not about his perceived arrogance. It’s not about the fact that he’s a Harvard Law School grad. It’s not about how he’s managed to become a best-selling author.

I’m saying that Barack Obama is better than me because if Denise Clay had to put up with the crap that Obama’s been asked to put up with from Bill and Hillary Clinton, and Clinton’s more blindly crazy supporters since becoming the nominee, there would be a YouTube video of my tightening either or both of them up by now.

Between Bill’s pouting (which looks bad on a guy that a friend of mine mistook for John McCain recently) and Hillary’s insistence on anything that can make the upcoming Democratic National Convention a celebration of her rather than the beginning of Obama O8, the Ike and Tina Turner of Politics are working my last nerve.

This round of disgust started with an article that I saw on MSNBC.com written by political analyst Howard Feinman. In this article, he talked about how “upset” the Clintons were at a perceived lack of respect on the part of Obama. He wasn’t helping Hillary retire her $20 million debt fast enough. Has he found a spot on the Democratic National Convention stage for them yet?

And my personal favorite: Why hasn’t he offered her the vice presidency? He should because she allegedly has more “purely Democratic” support than he does.

Here’s an excerpt from the note that I wrote to Mr. Feinman in response:

Mr. Fineman,

I just read your column on MSNBC.com and I’ll tell you what I got out of it:
You’re basically saying that despite the fact that Bill and Hillary Clinton dealt the race card from the bottom of the deck for about six months on Barack Obama, said stuff like John McCain would make a better president, and basically acted like a couple of spoiled brats after Obama got the nomination, he should play nice with them, make sure they’re taken care of at convention time, and basically kiss their butts.
Otherwise, he’s being, and I’m using your words here, cold and calculating.
Maybe I’m employing a little street logic here, but why should you play nice with two people who have already shown a propensity to stab you in the back with a machete they get the chance? Why should someone be seen as cold and calculating because they refuse to play nice with two people who are, wait for it, cold and calculating?
While I understand that this is politics and you’re supposed to play nice with the other kids to get things done, there are limits Mr. Fineman. If the roles were reversed, would you expect Hillary Clinton to play this nice? Probably not.
Why? Because white folks aren’t expected to turn the other cheek.

And I think that’s what’s pissing me off the most. If the circumstances were reversed and a Hillary victory left Obama’s base feeling disenfranchised, there’s no way that she would be expected to do the level of ass kissing to get them in line for November that Obama is being expected to do for Hillary’s base.

In fact, Obama’s mostly African American base would be practically ignored by the Clinton campaign because it would be assumed that they’re going to play ball regardless. Black folks are the Democratic Party’s most consistent voting bloc, after all.

When you add this to the fact that Hillary has decided that her delegates are going to be heard at the convention, and the various interviews that Bill has done that have included the phrase “I’m not a racist”, followed shortly by something that could be perceived as racist, you get someone who worked on the 1996 Clinton/Gore campaign who now wants to stick her foot right up the former First Couple’s ass.

(And don’t even get me started on the Hillary supporters who have pledged to vote for John McCain so that the country will be so trashed that America will ride their girl in on a white horse on streets lined with rose petals. Let me tell you something folks: If she does the dumb shit that you want her to do at this convention and costs Obama the presidency, she probably won’t even retain her senate seat in New York according to my sources.)

Thankfully, they’re dealing with Barack Obama instead of me. Because of this, no one has a black eye or a busted lip. Obama’s been rolling with the punches that have been thrown at him by both Clintons and Republican nominee John McCain. He even got Bill a prime-time slot during the Democratic National Convention.

And the only time that he got even a little bit angry was when folks started going after Michelle and the kids and that’s because any man who’s a man in the truest sense of the word is going to protect his wife and kids.

In fact, I believe that Michelle could handle Barack’s Hillary problem in 10 minutes…and in a way that only a black woman could. I don’t even think that she’d need to take her earrings off or put Vaseline on her face for this one. But she’s as classy as her husband, so she probably wouldn’t do it.

Denise Clay, however, she’d do it in a New York minute. That’s why she’s neither running for president nor married to someone who’s running for president.

So, Senator Obama, in honor of how you’re handling all of this, I leave this post with some advice from one of your favorite artists:

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